Rollercoaster weekend!

I am going to start out by saying, "WOW!" What a great weekend! Saturday, we had a little cookout in Hilbert at my parents house and it was awesome! Tons of people showed up and I was again in shock of all the people that care for me and my family. I am soo bless to be surrounded by this many people who truly care. That cook out was filled with lots of highs and then a couple of lows.

All my family and friends showed up and ate tons of food. I was grilling like a mad man! There was lawn games and spirts everywhere! Then Trent , a buddy of mine, got everyone together and gave me and my family a prayer box. It is a necklace that has been passed around Hilbert for some time now. It was with Mike Ruland and his family first, then Teresa Halbach family, then it was passed to Parker Cummings and his family. To reviece this was such an honor for him me. Trent told the story and handed it to me and I immediately started to cry and kind of broke down a little right in front of everyone. I wanted to say something after but I was pretty hard to get the words out. I wouldn't say this was a low but it was a loop on the emotional roller coaster for sure.

After this we had more drinks and food and had a great time. We then moved on to the head shaving. The doctors wanted me to shave my head this weekend because of the port they have to put in tomorrow. Well I didnt get the frayer but Brad did and Trent got a pretty crazy cut as well. My sister and others took soo many good pictures of this. Another moment I will never forget! Another loop complete on the coaster. After this, I got to bed pretty early.

Sunday Amy and I took It a little easy and got some well deserved R and R. Amy's parents came up to Oshkosh to drop of a more reliable car for Amy to have so when she drives to Milwaukee she is safe. So nice of them to do that. It made me feel better too b.c. Amy's car is acting a little funny. We went out to eat laer that evening.

Monday was an AWESOME day for Amy and I!!!! We got up early and heard the Memorial parade in Oshkosh and tried to catch it but we missed. I wanted to thank all the Vets out there and have risked or gave there life for me so that I can sit here and write a blog and feel safe at night. Freedom isn't free thats for sure. I recommend you look up some info on the Tomb of the unknown soldier, makes me very proud to be an American.

After this we went to the Beach and had a picnic and got some sun. We also went to the little Zoo in Oshkosh. Thank god I put Sun Block on my head b.c i would have gotten torched! The rest of my body did.  Today was soo great and I loved every second of it.

Now I sit here on the couch looking over and seeing Amy sleeping and thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow I start Chemo. Amy asked me about 2 hours ago if I was nervous or scared. I told her no. I guess I really didnt think about it. I wasnt scared. Well then she fell asleep and I took a shower. In the shower I was trying to pick off all the tape residue that I still all over my stomach and chest from all the surgerys and tests. And I realized that YES I AM SCARED. I broke down a little and thought about the treatment. Everyone react differently so I might be okay and It might be Hell. Then I started to think about all the people that gave me words of advice and sent cards and texted and messaged and called. It gave me strength. It made me pick my head up. Not gonna lie I am still Scared as shit but Im READY now. I am going to Milwaukee tomorrow with a little chip on my shoulder. Im not going let this cancer and this treatment hold me back from the things I want to do and the person I want to be.

Tomorrow I start chemo. It all starts tomorrow. The Journey will never end unless It begins.


Pictures from the weekend.

Graduation Day (the redue)

Today was such an awesome fun day!

The back story. So I went to the gym Thursday to get a workout in, I biked 10 miles again and did a little walking. After i got to meet with everyone that I worked with there and we got to talking about the graduation that i missed. I missed it because I was in surgery during the ceremony. The time that I should have been walking I was getting 8 inches of my small intestine cut out of my body. Well a lady that I work with, Jill, called to see if i could at least get the cover thing they give you. Well some how she worked her magic and me a meeting with the Chancellor of UW-Oshkosh!!!

I went in this morning with My mother and father and a bunch of people I work with at the rec. I thought it was just going to be this little thing But it wasn't! As soon as I got there they asked me if I wanted a Cap and Gown to put on And My mom was like, " Oh no we brought his." I was planning on not wearing that. So I put it on and out comes the Chancellor in his whole gettie up with my diploma cover. It will be one of my fondest memories ever. I was kinda bummed that I didnt get that moment and I thought i never would. But I got It today! I graduated College and Its and AWESOME feeling.

For the Chancellor to do that on his day off was really meaningful to me. There was even a Professional photographer there and I think I might be in the paper as an "honorary graduate!"

Its an amazing experience! The best part about it all is I think that my mom and dad wanted to have that moment too. To see the look on there faces when this was all going down made me feel even better.

Also today I got some more news at the Doctor. The results came back from the Bone Marrow and also the Spinal Tap. I have NO Lymphoma cells in either. So that was real good!! I have some swollen and active ones in my armpits and my groin/gut area but even those aren't growing as fast as they thought they would be. They havnt change much in the week between the CT scan and The PET scan. All Good news today

After this I went to my old high school and meet with alot of teachers and old coaches! It was fun seeing all these people again! Everyone had very nice things to say.

Today has been a great day my spirits are up and excited for the weekend with my family and friends before I start treatment next Tuesday. Hopefully the rain stays away so that we can have a cookout tomorrow!

Here are a couple of pictures that my mom took today

 The one that made this all happen.

Thanks Jill! This is truely something I will NEVER forget!!!

rainy

The spinal puncher wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Thank GOD. I am already getting sick of these different testes everyday. Good thing the test are over. Well for now at least. I will have to have CT scans prolly for the nest 5-10 years of my life so that when I beat this they can just keep an eye on it and make sure it isn't coming back or anything.

Just kinda bored today. Its rainy and they told me to sit on the couch all day today so that the hole they put in my spine will seal up nice and tight. Sometimes it doesn't and the fluid can leak out and you get really bad head aches. I haven't had anything like that so I'm pretty sure that we are good to go.

Tomorrow I got the day off!!! I am going to get back to the gym and bike alittle and try and do some more things to get back to normal a bit. Then Friday is the big meeting with my Doc. We are gonna go over all the test results and then talk about the treatment plan. Then before I know it I will be in Milwaukee at St. Lukes getting this thing started.

Is it alittle weird that I am looking forward to it?

Just another challenge to overcome.

P.s. Someone make this rain go away! I want to get some quality sun time in before we get started.

ryan

surgery

Hey everyone. After a nap and some food I'm feeling better. I had my surgery today to put my port in and also a bone marrow biopsy. Everything went very well. The worst part is went I wake up and my hangy ball is all swollen because of that breathing tube that stick down my throat. I got a sweet wrist band and a card to put in my wallet to prove that I have a "powerport." Supposedly they are new and not many people have them. They are made so that they can withstand high pressure. They have to put the drugs in FAST and the other old ones would just blow up.

Tomorrow is my spinal tap so that they can see if it has spread to my spinal fluid. Friday is my meeting with Dr. Dar. We are going to go over ALL the results from the 50,000 tests that I have done.

Then we are going to Milwaukee Tuesday. They are going to put the other port in my head when we get down there. He explained it like a door into my brian. Kinda like a hole in my skull that is covered with the port. Kinda weird if you ask me. They also want me to shave the head before that. Prolly this weekend?  maybe start with  a little fryers cut and move from there...Amy thinks its gross :)


I heard an amazing quote today off a Gatorade commercial:

"What is strength? Maybe its the result when we run out of weakness"

Normal

Long, but fun day today I had an appointment in Green Bay today that went well. Then I came back to the old stomping grounds, Hilbert. Everything looks the same and I like that. It's nice to get back to where you grew up and have so many memories from.

Stopped at trents house before he had to go to work and chatted for a bit then to brads. It's nice just visiting with friends even if it is for like 10 minutes. Just to see there faces puts me in a better mood. Got to the ball park too. The worst part of the day was that I was at the ball park and I was WATCHING....I kind of realized that this isn't going to be a normal summer and I wont be able to do the things that I love to do, like play sports, and just get outside and be active. Just the normal every day things. I wont be able to do the normal things anymore, atleast until this treatment is over and I beat this!!!

Tomorrow I have more sugrey. I get my port put in. The port is just like a pump that they put in above my heart so that when I get treatment they dont have to start an IV everytime. I am also getting another Bone marrow Biopsy. I guess I have the hardest bones in the world because they really have problems breaking into them to get some marrow. I guess its all that milk ma and pa made me drink. I hope I get the Spinal tap tomorrow as well. I would like to get it all done while i'm OUT. I dont really want to come back later in the week and do the Tap while im awake.

Tip of the day: If you get a chance to spend 10 minutes with your closest friends. DO IT. Dont tell yourself 10 minutes well that doesnt even pay. It does pay not only for you but im sure your friends will enjoy it too.

ryan

Strength

Sorry I missed yesterday everyone. I just dont think I will have the time to write everyday but hopefully I can write more days then not.

Well yesterday was great! I woke up feeling alot better. My core was real sore the past week but yesterday I woke up and felt better then I have in months. My strength, my energy, and my overall health was real high. I wanted to get back into things and start doing my normal activities again. I was feeling so good that I walked to the gym and biked 10 Miles in about 42 mins. After I still felt good and walked a little bit! Isn't it crazy that I biked about 4 minute miles and people in the world can run that! I better pick up the pace.

Yesterday was a great day until the doctor called with my results.  It's Burkitt's Lymphoma, which we all kind of new anyway. I was a little down after the call but I kinda decided that i wasn't going to let that bring the day to an end. I was feeling better and Stronger than I have in months. It's so weird to me that I have cancer.... I feel GOOD right now. I dont feel sick. I look normal. If someone walked by me on the street or when I was on the bike the last thought they would have is that I have cancer! I feel and look good. I guess I dont look as good on the inside....

Today was the PET scan. I have been Radioactive since about 7 this morning. Ha what does that even mean? All I know is that if your pregnant dont walk by me right now because it could be bad for the baby. The PET scan is going to tell me where the lymphoma has all spread too. I wont know the result until Monday.

SOOO, Today I am in another good mood Amy and I are heading to the mall to meet up with my Mother and Sister. I got some Graduation money from the parents and I feel like getting myself a little something something.

Things are going to start and get REAL busy. Appointments Monday, Tuesday. Then I have to recover from more surgery!!!

Oh yes, one last thing. We found out the tentative date for the start of treatment...... Drum Roll please.............JUNE 2nd....... whats important about that date??!?!??!?!??!?!

JUNE 2nd is Amy's and Ryan's 2nd year anniversary!!!

So lets recap,
Nov. 9th = my birthday and In the hospital for 4 days because of really low blood counts.
May 14th= college graduation and In hospital
June 2nd= 2 year anniversary and starting Chemotherapy

Oh what a year!

ryan

HOME sweet HOME

I made it home yesterday afternoon and I can tell you there is truely No place like Home! I am a little emotional again this morning but it is for a totally completely different reason. Today is about the overwellming post of my Wall, textes, calls, emails, visits I have had over the past week. The lord has truely blessed me with many people that CARE. Like truely care. It is overwellming just how many people have contracted me in one way or the other just to tell me to "stay strong" or that "I am in there prayers"  

Yesterday Amy said she had a little surprise for me. When we got home she took out like 30 pieces of paper all with writing on them. They were little letters and notes from all the children in her class. She teaches 6th 7th , and 8th graders here in oshkosh at south park middle school. In each class the kids kind of asked what happen and Amy told them some things. They had a little 'health' lesson before class. I guess they asked very good questions like is cancer contagious? I mean that is a GREAT question for a 6th grader to be asking right? Well anyways, in one of the classes they asked if they could write me cards and Amy said, "If you you like to write him a card that would be nice but you dont have too." After class almost everyone came up to her and gave her something to give to me. I started tearing up again when i got these because i was already overwellmed about how many people cared. Now people and kids that I dont even know are writing me letters? It was very Amazing to read all the things the kids wrote and it made me LAUGH and I needed a laugh. The running theme in all of the notes they wrote me was, "P.S.- Will you marry Miss Joiner please?"
About every other one said something about that. One little girl even called flower girl! She said she thinks that she would be good at it.

So I am just kind of playing the waiting game right now. They still havn't told me what kind of Lymphoma it is yet. I think I will prolly get a call today about it.  They want me to heal up from the surgery before I start any treatment because the treatment will kinda slow or stop the healing process. Treatment will prolly start June 1st ish they think and it will be at St. Lukes, in Milwaukee. They said I had to do they first treatment there because they have a better supporting staff just incase something goes wrong.

It's nice that we are heading down a road now. Before, when I had all this pain, they didnt know what was going on. All the tests they ran were good. One doctor even told me that I had alot of GAS and I needed Gas-X. That was the day before I went in for emerency surgrey. He told me I had gas and I looked at him like his was the dumbest doctor in the planet. I know my body. This is more that a little gas build up buddy. But at least now we know what it is and and start doing something about it.

To end it today I just want to leave you guys with a picture that one of the kids drew. haha those kids are amazing. I would love to go and visit them before school gets out...

ryan

My first blog

Hi everyone. Well I decided to start a blog for my family and friends to look at and keep updated with what is going on. I want to warn everyone first that I dont think I am very good at things like "blogging" so prepare yourselves! I started this blog not only so all my loved ones could stay up dated with whats going on in my life but I also think that this might be a little therapeutic for me as well. Just to get things off my chest.

Well, so most of you already know. I have been diagnosed with Lymphoma. They are still unsure which type it is but they have it narrowed down to 2 different types, Burkitt's or Diffused Large B-cell. Both are aggressive types. From what I understand it is almost better to have an aggressive type of lymphoma b.c. the faster they grow the easier they are to kill. The slowing growing lymphomas are hard to kill. Either way I will be starting chemotherapy soon.

I was pretty made when i first found out what it was. I mean I literally was in surgery during the ceremony where is should have been receiving my diploma. Shortly after surgery I found out and was kind of shocked. That was Saturday the 14th of May. I have had tons of visitors come in and I want to say thank you to all of them. Anyone that has even taken 2 seconds out of the day to send a text or a facebook message, I want ot say THANK YOU. It has helped me soo much to know that I have sooo many people that care for me and my health.

Amy (my girlfriend) has been amazing thought this whole thing. She has stay with me every night and has done so much for me. I am so thankful that she is her and helping me thought this. I know this is just as hard on her as it is on me. Today I kinda talked her into going back to school today, she teaches at a middle school. She teaches math and she is amazing with those kids. I love hearing her talk about her day. She cares so much about her kids.

But this morning I am her alone and it is tough........ I am scheduled to leave today and let my surgery heal up. Lots of doctors and nurses are coming in today to say good bye and wish me luck. The hard part is when they ask me how im 'feeling' and how I am taking all of this news. Because of this, I think it is starting to hit me. I have lymphoma.....I start chemo in 2 weeks im going to lose all my hair. I'm not going to Minnesota for this internship anymore.  I thought Amy and I had it all planned out. Well in a blink of an eye our lives have changed.

Its been a really tough morning. I realize that there are going to be good days also but today It has finally hit me.

Ryan